Waterslide Technician
When someone would ask me, "What do you want to be when you grow up," I would usually respond with,"Fireman" or "Orthodontist."
I've changed my mind.
I'm going to be a Waterslide Technician. I'll travel the world, making Water Parks safer places. The waterslides I work on won't tear your shorts on the way down leaving you PRACTICALLY NAKED WHILE EVERYONE POINTS AND LAUGHS AT YOU!!! WHO'S IN CHARGE OF MAINTAINING THIS WATERSLIDE??? HEY!!! IS IT YOU!!!!! WHAT'S WITH THE "SWIMSUIT SLICER" HALF WAY DOWN??? YOU DID THAT ON PURPOSE DIDN'T YOU!!!!!!! SOMEBODY HAND ME A TOWEL!!!!!!!!
Yeah, that's my dream job. I can almost feel the chlorine burning my nostrils and dulling my sense of smell this very minute. That's the only thing I hate about working at water parks.
What will you be when you grow up?
posted by Digs @ 12:58 PM
3 Comments:
That's VERY funny. I'd like to be a Toilet Seat Engineer. My latest design? "The Suctioner." It creates an air-tight seal around your buns and evacuates the smell of your waste with a high speed fan before you stand up. A great feature that I didn't think of that surfaced during clinical trials is that the "Suctioner" is highly beneficial for consumers who suffer from constipation. My next project: Toilet seat cleats. No more slipping and sliding when you have to sit down with a wet bottom.
I'm not even going to ask why you would have to sit down with a wet bottom.
Doberman Pincher. I've always wanted to meet Higgins.
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